"I don't know how you do it," Janie said recently, "I couldn't stand to be stuck at home like that."
"Will you be quitting work now that John got his promotion?" I ask Deb.
"No, I don't want to be stuck at home all the time," she says.
"STUCK at home"? Few three-word sentence fragments annoy me more than those three words put together.
Why are we who choose to be home perceived as "stuck" at home?
Aren't we the ones who have the most freedom?
We can get up at 10am, wear no makeup, watch t.v., walk around in grubby clothes, ignore the kids and deal with the consequences later, stay up until 2am without concern about an early morning alarm, see how long the baby can go without her diaper leaking, eat ice cream at breakfast, doughnuts at noon, and feed the kids PB&;J sandwiches for every meal.
Or..., we can choose to see our baby's first walk, change every one of her thousands of diapers so we don't miss out on the interaction we get with her when we do, read and study to wisen up our brains, sell something extra on eBay, practice baking and gardening and knitting and Spanish lessons, take the girls to ballet and the boys to baseball, read a book aloud to the kids after lunch and have a cup of tea at 3pm.
Over the past 9 years, I have been a working-outside-the-home mom, a working-at-home mom, and a stay-at-home mom (unpaid work). Of all of them, it is the stay-at-home mom who gets the greatest disdain from the outside world.
But don't you worry about her.
She owns all of the 1,440 minutes in each of her days. And she can spend each of those minutes as she wills, with no boss, no schedule but her own, and all the freedom every American loves to have.
If she gets a hankering for a bologna sandwich, she can go to the grocery store and get the ingredients. If she wants to see a movie, she can load the kids into the van and take them. She can attend a craft show on Friday afternoon and a Grand Opening pre-sale on Thursday morning.
She has been given the freedom to choose how to fill her days.
If having that kind of freedom is being "stuck," then I am so glad I'm one of those poor souls who are "stuck at home."
(Originally published on my 2005-2008 Keeping the Home blog)
Hope said...
Amen from my corner of the SAHM world! ;)
Monday, March 14, 2005
AGK said...
I LOVE being at home. I have never felt STUCK.
Monday, March 14, 2005
Peg said...
I love being "stuck" at home! And my kids are at school all day! I love the freedom, although I wouldn't mind a part-time job a couple days a week! The most important part is that I am here for them when they get home from school!
Monday, March 14, 2005
Kami said...
AMEN for stay-at-home-moms!! If I had it to do all over again I would do it all the same! I've been a SAHM for 18 years! All of my kids are in (or even out of) school now and I'm still at home with everyone else's kids! Being a SAHM has enabled ME to watch my kids grow up and see them take all of their "firsts", etc, etc., instead of a sitter. It would take up WAY too much space to write down all of the reasons, rewards, and blessings for being a SAHM. Most of all it was the most important choice I could have made after adopting two kids that terribly needed a SAHM rather than leaving them feeling left behind and abandoned and insecure every day like they had already experienced for the first 2 & 3 years of their lives! Not to mention the continued blessings of being at home with our next two (biological) children. Although I have always been a working-at-home SAHM for these 18 years I may not have the freedom to leave the home whenever I want to but I have the freedom to run my schedule the way I choose, and do whatever I choose to do. It beats the heck out of rushing out the door every morning to meet the morning work traffic, buying lunch out or brown bagging every day, having to constantly shop for career clothes, spending so much on gasoline, fighting the evening work traffic home, and getting home just in time to eat dinner and see the kids off to bed with no time left for anything other than a few chores and getting ready to start it all over again the next day! I am a SAHM because, like most others, I CHOOSE to be. Even though my oldest two are already out of school now and my youngest two are well on their way in school, I WANT to be here for them after school, holidays, or when they are home sick, etc.! The rewards are immense!! (Wow, I could start my own blog on the topic!) Great writing Lori!
Monday, March 14, 2005
Lori Seaborg said...
Hope, AGK, Peg, and Kami - Thanks for commenting in, gals! I'm glad to know there are other SAHMs out there, proud of what we do.
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Lori Seaborg said...
Kami - You sure could get a blog going! Just go to http://www.blogger.com and follow the easy instructions. It's free!
Tuesday, March 15, 2005
Renee said...
I am a happily "stuck" at home mom too! Great post!:-)
Friday, March 18, 2005
Posted by: Comments from 2005 | 10/14/2009 at 10:51 PM
Wednesday, June 29, 2005 Posted by 3FoldChord
I'm not STUCK at home.I can go anywhere I want to, Anytime I want to! With no one telling me to get back to the papers, my lunch break is over!~
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 Posted by happyhomeschool (IP Not Logged)
Amen! One more thing- we have time to blog.
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - Amen!
Posted by Sweetpea
Thanks for posting that- sometimes I admit I have to remind myself that I am blessed to be at home and homeschool....but it isn't often and it hasn't been lately!
Thanks for the encouragement and wisdom!
Have a wonderfully blessed day!
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 posted by Donnabooshay
I love staying home so much!
Poor souls don't know what they are missing :o(
Next time say..."I wouldn't want to be chained to a job!"
he he he
We moms have to encourage one another cause we seem to get all sorts of unkind comments tossed our way!
Donna
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - One word
Posted by LoneStarMama
AMEN : )
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - Posted by herbgardener
I wanted to thank you for posting at my new site. And from reading your posts, I think we'd hit it off!
Take care,
Melissa
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - You have to wonder...
Posted by grownathome
Do people really think we sit home all day? I have heard this comment many times, among others. I always say "I would relish a full day at home". :P
Blessings,
Tiffany <><
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - Thanks for the comments
Posted by KeepingtheHome
Thanks, ya'll for posting. I just love hearing from you! It's fun to be "stuck at home" enough to sit around and read or write blogs all day (if we so choose). We've got it made!
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Wednesday, June 29, 2005 - Amen!!
Posted by quiverfull
and Amen!!! Loved reading this Lori!! If I am "stuck" at home than PRAISE GOD!! Because He has given me more blessings that I could ever have imagined. I could not trade this life in for anything!
Thank you also Lori for all the sweet comments on my blog!! :) I posted a comment in my own section (Wednesday on the Homestead) on the rewards and blessings of training my daugthers to be those future "Homemakers in Training" and to encourage mothers to be patient in their training, the rewards will come!
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Thursday, June 30, 2005 - Right On!
Posted by redmom
Love it! Thank you.
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Friday, July 1, 2005 - AMEN TO THAT!
Posted by MelMe
I have new neighbors who are getting used to everything in our neighborhood, including the number of stay-at-home moms here. But even the other SAHMs look at me and my one fellow homeschooler (across the street, thankfully!) and say, "I couldn't do that!" What's funny is that I look across the street at the other homeschooler with her 5 children (3 under 5) and wonder if I could do it...while she looks across at me, trying to work from home and homeschool my one child under 5 as a single parent...and says the very same thing. :-P
I thank the Lord that I'm in an environment that offers support to each of us here in the neighborhood that are "stuck at home" so that we can feel proud and strong and confident in what we do, rather than downtrodden, disregarded and "stuck".
And I also heard the new SAHM say something super cute to her husband last weekend at a BBQ I hosted for the closest friends of the bunch: "She does it all! She is home all day with Bekah, AND she homeschools, AND she works at night!" What an honor to be thought of as having it all without having to wear the fancy get-up I had to haul on in my old career days!
Posted by: Misc. | 10/13/2009 at 09:42 PM